Fairy Mother
by Mystfaery
Summary: A daughter's reflections on her mother


Fairy Mother:  
  
By Mystfaery  
  
Summary: reflections of the past in the future by B/A's daughter,   
  
Couples: B/A, X/A, C/D, F/G and S/other.  
  
Rating: um G or Pg at most  
  
Disclaimer: I'll spell this out....I....d.o.n.'.t.....o.w.n....a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. ...y.o.u....r.e.c.o.g.n.i.s.e. But Jayne and Lucy are mine. I also don't own mama by the spice girls   
  
NB: very weird songfic kinda scattered ideas not meshing much, but hey. I don't listen to the spice girls but the song kinda fit.  
  
My mother was a fairy  
  
I, of course, don't mean a real fairy with wings and magic, but to me she was like a fairy. She had long flowing blonde hair and was really beautiful, always smiling and dancing hiding something behind her happiness. I only saw her about once a year or twice if I was lucky, but how I loved those times when I was young, she would arrive out of nowhere at the house I was at, Willow and Oz's, Cordy and Doyle's, or any of her friends "Lucy, I've missed you soooo much, darling." Hug, kiss. Then she would talk to the adults. "she wasn't any trouble was she?" they would always smile and say they were happy to have me and I could stay longer if she needed it. Then she would get hard and refuse "No, it's dead now." then wave goodbye, dragging me out of whatever normal life I had built for myself.  
  
But I was happy to go, because as I said before, my mother was a fairy and I loved spending what little time I could with her. We would spend about one week or two, or once on a very special occasion a whole month, and I would start to hope that she would keep my with her this time, want me this time. Then she would get a call or come home beaten up or have nightmares, and it would start again. "Xander, Anya." Or whatever couple it was "It's bad this time, I don't suppose you could take her? Just for a couple of months, but it maybe longer. I don't want to have her in any danger, not this time." And they would smile and say yes, anything for you. Can we help in any other way? "No" she would say.  
  
She used to be my only enemy and never let me be free  
  
Catching me in places that I knew I shouldn't be  
  
Every other day I crossed the line I didn't mean to be so bad  
  
I never thought you would become the friend I never had  
  
I remember a time when my father was alive, when I had a normal family. He was big and strong and always seemed to be so certain of himself. My mother relied on him. I remember story-time the best. Daddy and me would sit in bed and he would read a big book filled with chapters. then he would tell me a story about his own life and mother's but I didn't know that then, and mom would sneak in and slide onto the bed with us, me fitting in between them perfectly and as he finished a story about the princess and the demon or the foolish man who walked away from love or another one, over my head mom and dad would share a kiss, it was sweet. I would always make a face yelling, but it was safe. Then the end of days happened, I didn't know what it was, all I knew was that one day I had a father and the next I didn't. I was four and I lost my mother with him.  
  
I can't remember the funeral, but mother packed everything away on the next day and within a week I was with the first of the couples, Willow and Oz. They welcomed me into their house but I don't think they had any idea what they were in for. They were both still grieving for the loss of Tara, who had been an essential part of their relationship and had little care to show a lost 4 year old who wanted to know where her mommy and daddy were. I don't know the full details but something happened in the End of Days, so many deaths of people they cared about, somehow instead of driving the once close knit friends together it tore them apart creating rifts between life long friends and enemies. I had also lost my grandfather, Giles on that day, but before her died he made my mother promise to not let them fall away from each other. She failed but kept contact with them... I guess that's why she had so many people to dump me on. It's funny I can tie when my life started collapsing down to one point. When Willow became pregnant, mother arrived back I was so happy to see her. She apologized to them and then took me away.  
  
Back then I didn't know why  
  
Why you were misunderstood  
  
So now I see through your eyes  
  
All that you did was love  
  
Mama, I love you. Mama ,I care  
  
Mama, I love you . Mama, my friend. You're my friend  
  
We lived together for a few months in hotel rooms and the like, she taught me to read, but she didn't tell me stories like daddy had. One day remains clear in my mind I finally asked her where daddy was. Willow and Oz had told me things like he's gone, he lives in heaven but not really explained it. My mother went white and then struggled to reach a chair, finally collapsing on the floor where she was, with tears streaming down her face. I never asked where Daddy was again. She sent me to Cordy and Doyle's next and I loved it there, they had a daughter about 2 months younger than me and I went to school with her. Katrin was really nice and she became my only real friend for the next 10 years. I lived with them for about a year then mother came again. I hated it when she took me away again, I couldn't understand why she left me and then took me away again.  
  
Every little thing you said and did was right for me  
  
I had a lot of to think about, about the way I used to be  
  
Never had a sense of my responsibility  
  
After that I moved around a lot, Xander and Anya one month, Faith and Gunn the next. Have you ever tried making friends when you're constantly being sent some where else? It's hard...really hard. But I tried I would make a friend then my mother would turn up and take me away. We often stayed with Wesley, my Mother didn't have a relationship with him, but he was a good friend who backed her up. It was during a time with Wesley I learnt my mother was more then just my mother I was about 7 and eavesdropping in on a call when I heard my mother's name mentioned. He talked about her pain and destiny and I realized that she did love me, just couldn't be with me. Didn't mean that I didn't still blame her  
  
Back then I didn't know why  
  
Why you were misunderstood  
  
So now I see through your eyes, all that you did was love  
  
Mama, I love you. Mama, I care  
  
Mama, I love you. Mama ,my friend. You're my friend  
  
When I was growing up, my uncle Spike would drop in regularly just to check up on "Slutty and the poof's kid" the words sound insulting but he cared for both of them. He had a girlfriend at my 8th birthday party (it was at Cordy's and Doyle's, mother didn't show) Jayne was cool, started writing to me and visited every time with Spike. They were, I mean are really close. In a strange way they reminded my of my parents just opposites, 'cause she had dark hair and Spike blonde instead of the blonde of my mother and dark of my father. I got angry with her when I was 13 because they were so much like my parents and accused her of using me to get close to uncle Spike, she looked so sad and left.  
  
My mother breezed into my life for the last time when I was 15, I spent about a week with her in which she struggled with the help of Wesley to explain things to me. About how much she loved my father and how she was the slayer, why she left me at times. She wrote a will, which she handed to Wesley, who fought with her about not going, telling her she was going to her death. I never got to say goodbye I woke up in the morning and heard she was dead.  
  
But now I'm sure I know why,  
  
Why you were misunderstood  
  
So now I see through your eyes  
  
All I can give you is love is love  
  
Mama I love you. Mama, I care  
  
Mama, I love you. Mama, my friend,  
  
You're my friend  
  
This story seems like I'm blaming her, but I don't. Not now. In the will she gave Spike guardianship over me, seems they had a disagreement, a couple of years back but it was resolved before she died, so I live with Spike and Jayne. I have a normal life now, I'm aware of the vampire thing, but I'm not cursed to be a warrior like my parents I'm standing at my parents' graves now and carefully I trace the names, Buffy Anne Summers O'Connor and Angel Liam O'Connor. I love my parents, and I can finally understand my Fairy mother   
  
Mama, I love you, Mama ,I care  
  
Mama, I love you, Mama, my friend, You're my friend 


End file.
